Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Beckett vs. Fritos

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Beckett has a very distinct smell. It’s especially strong and potent when he wakes up. It’s like he’s been incubating it. It’s not a bad smell. I’d liken it to smelling someone else’s pillow. Even though it’s not your smell of sleep, it’s unmistakably the slightly sour smell of sleep. Although saying Beckett smells like someone else’s pillow isn’t quite right. Tania thinks he smells like a bag of Fritos. I enjoy Frito snack chips, but I can’t say I eat them very often. Thus, the smell of a bag of Fritos isn’t exactly at the front of my mind. Still, I’ve been meaning to compare Beckett and a bag of Fritos for some time now. I’m not sure why the experiment hasn’t been at the top of my list of things to do, but it just hasn’t. So for the last year or so, Beckett smells like Beckett, and Fritos smell like… like whatever Fritos smell like.

That all changed when we were watching a show on Animal Planet the other night called Dog 101. One of the dogs showcased on the episode was the Bassett hound. They basically summarize the breed for you: short legs, great sense of smell, good with kids, loyal, etc.. Frankly, they look a lot like dachshunds, just bigger. And instead of badgers, they hunt rabbits. But there’s something else similar about the two. During the middle of the Bassett hound checkout, a Bassett owner described their smell. “Basset hounds have a very distinct odor,” he said. “I guess you could describe it as a bag of corn chips.”

“SEE!” Tania blurted out.

“Hm,” I said. “Alright, I believe you. I need to check this out, now.”

A few days later I stopped at the gas station on the way home and bought a bag of Fritos. I had been gone a couple hours and knew Beckett would be napping when I got home. I opened the door, and, sure enough, there he was blinking his sleepy eyes at me on the couch. I approached, pet him, and then took a big whiff. Okay, yeah, that’s Beckett. Then I opened the bag of corn chips and took a big whiff. “Hm.” I said to myself. “Yeah, there is something to that actually.” It’s not exactly the same, but the smell of the dachshund and the smell of a bag of Fritos is pretty darn close.

If you’re interested in experiencing the world of the dachshund, I would recommend purchasing a bag of Fritos. It’s $600 cheaper, and it won’t poop behind your couch.

10 comments:

Brad said...

Jesus, I never knew what it was like to be a frito. It's fucking terrifying. I don't think I'll be able to eat a Frito every again. Way to ruin my favorite corn chip, dude.

mdspb said...

great post, but you're killing us here...bring on the Keller!

todd + beth said...

i always thought that my dog's feet (or really any dog's feet) smell like tostidos chips.

Jerry Ho said...

sometimes my feet smell like fritos... or maybe a dachshund...

gbrl said...

whatever, dave, you know you love that fucking shit machine pinching off behind your couch.

RyGar said...

Interesting. My mom/little sisters have a dog that smells of horrible, sun-ripened seafood when she gets excited, or scared. Kind of like a skunk. She isn't any one breed, so I can't verify that this at all normal.I love Fritos, tohough, maybe you can send Becket over w/ some bean dip?

C&H Skateboarding said...

its the glands. its always the glands.

Grappa said...

Testing, 1 2 3

mc said...

I can't eat fritos anymore. I used to like them on top of the chili my girlfriend would make. The smells of Fritos make me cry now, seriously. My dog, who passed 2 years ago, feet smelled just like Fritos.

Phil said...

I have a mini schnauzer named Arnold with a similar smell. He lives in the kitchen during the day and when I come home in the afternoon I could swear there's a loaf of banana bread in the oven. But it's just Arnold. It actually smells pretty good.