Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Spinach: Tough Shit

I finally understand why Popeye always eats his spinach: it’s tough shit. Literally. Above is a photo of a baby spinach leaf that passed through my body and out my anus UNSCATHED! It’s a wonder it made it past my teeth, but then it was in the pasta that was under Tania’s chicken piccata and I practically inhale her chicken piccata. Then—THEN? As if that isn’t impressive enough—it refused to be flushed! That’s right, I shit that thing out, flushed the toilet, but it said, “Fuck you!” It wouldn’t go down. Look at it just floating there defiantly. It’s practically daring me to flush again. And that’s just a baby one, I’d hate to see what the adults are like.

Remember: if you're a foodie, you're also a poopie.… hm, actually, that's a better word than "foodie." I hate "foodie." From now on, I'm a poopie. "We're poopies, but we're drunks first."


Anonymous said...

I like eating corn because it has the same tenacity—comes through whole and gives each log some texture. It's a massage that you'd have to pay a lot of money for otherwise.

Unknown said...

tracer foods! for your health!

also: that picture is arguably even more gross than my severed thumb. what are we becoming?

Anonymous said...

Dr. Steve Brule!