Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sauerbraten Beef Ring

The only Sauerbraten Beef Ring recording in existence.

Chris Reed and I started a band in college back in the early 90s in San Luis Obispo called Sauerbraten Beef Ring. The name, as you can see, was derived from the recipe we found for the dish in an old cookbook.

The recipe to the Sauerbraten Beef Ring.

Chris was, and still is, a vegetarian, but he has a strange fetish for meat dishes. Mostly pictures of meat dishes. The worse, the better. He’s especially fond of anything that has to do with ham. I think he ranks it as one of the most disgusting meats.

“I think head cheese is my least favorite meat group,” Chris said. “But I can say that after 16 years after the formation of SBR, I’m still not that into ham. I did like what Wim Delvoye has done with his Ham mosiacs and tile work though.”

Wim Delvoye's "marble" floors. Mmmmm floors...

And while the SBR consists of beef, he loves it like a ham. As did I. I still don’t even know what that dish is. It looks like a bunch of poops? And what exactly is “hot meat liquid?” How did it get in the bowl? We were fascinated by this mysterious dish, which happened to be as perplexing as the music we were making.

Some might call the Sauerbraten Beef Ring “noise,” and, well, they’d be right. Our two 45 minute songs (no SBR song can be shorter than one side of a tape) are pretty much just feedback and distortion. Although the first song “A Black Hole Swallows a Space Ship” tells a story. It’s about a space ship that gets swallowed by a black hole. The second song is titled “Hibernating Rockets,” and it’s 45 minutes of what it sounds like when rockets are sleeping.

“The goal,” Chris said regarding how we made the tape, “which was very controversial and innovative, was to record until the four-track tape ended. And Dave and I recorded separately, and we didn’t listen to what the other person recorded. Now was that an accident because I didn’t know how to work the four-track? Maybe, but it’s still innovation."

To this day I’m still astounded that I actually liked this crap. Two dudes blindly recording noise onto the same tape? Yeah, that sounds awesome. But Chris loves it. He likes it so much he’s been bugging me about it for about a year now. I finally went through my tape box and sure enough, the damn thing still exists. I have mailed it to Chris who has promised to do big things with it. “The tape is our retirement plan,” he said. “It’s like gold.” Chris is going to digitize it and create new packaging. (We’ll post it here when it’s done.) I suggested we send it off to record labels to see if anyone bites. That would be funny. I also think we should write mean letters to the labels telling them how much gnarlier the Sauerbraten Beef Ring is than their current bands. Something Witch Taint did a few years ago to Mysticum.

“Don't get me wrong,” he wrote in an email, “I'm sure tons of chicks dig what you guys are doing, but I'm into some serious shit, not this strummy bullshit you guys seem to be into.”

A small sample of SBR. Any more and you'd throw up.

Like Witch Taint, SBR is some serious shit. We fuckin’ worship black holes and you can’t get any blacker than that. "None more black." You don't believe me? Well listen to that shit. But be warned: SBR made our friend Bill throw up. Literally. Bill even claimed that it had nothing to do with all the beer he drank or the load of pot he smoked. "It was the Beef Ring," he said, "it was too gnarly." We don't think you can handle it, so here's just a short sample. Any longer and you'll barf.


Unknown said...

sauerbraten beef is really fucking good. it is beef and gravy and any self-respecting kraut has an oma who made the best. i will testify that my oma makes it the best.

my oma also makes better music than you guys. with her butt cheeks.


Bozo Monkey Bear III said...

i'm surprised you even referred to that noise we made as "music."

Anonymous said...

Dude, recently a friend of a friend had some friends coming to town who heard we have a baby and wanted to have a little play date. Thing is, it was one of the guys in Sun O))) - I was fucking giggling myself silly imagining he would show up in the cloak (maybe the baby would have one?), but they ended up doing something else.